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Archive for the tag “Self improvement”

Happiness: A Matter of Mindset?

lifePeople are always trying to achieve total happiness in life. Most of us believe in an ideal state we want to be which would make us happier. Unfortunately, only few realize this footing in life because of our different perspectives.

Happiness is about the meaning of the moment with us. It is about how much we value our experience at that very minute. There is always happiness in quality time spent with love ones although some people find happiness in wealth but others find it even without spending a dime.

Remember, happiness is not dependent on who we are or what we have. It actually depends solely upon what we think. Our happiness or unhappiness depends far more on the way we accept the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather in recognizing and appreciating what we do have. There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something. We can attain it by simply realizing that happiness does not spring from acquiring physical or mental pleasure.

The greater part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. Happiness depends more on the inward frame of mind than on outward circumstances because there is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

Though success is getting what we want but happiness is wanting what we get. Most people spend their lives in anticipation but the present time has one advantage over every other. Past opportunities are gone. However, we have all the time to take advantage of the present and enjoy it even if we defer in reaching our goals. Bottom line is we become wise as we aged.

Despite our difference in opinion of happiness, we need to be clear with our choices in life especially in terms of our preference of a happy life. I learned that to be happy, we must not be too concerned with others. We have to think of ourselves first since no man is happy who does not think himself/herself so.

In other words, we need to utilize our mistakes in the past to be a potential happiness builder. Who knows, it’s a blessing in disguise? We will learn to see and appreciate the good things in life even in worst situations.

Credit: Rosemarie Sumalinog Gonzales 


Is Respect Earned or Given?

76a9dae3c79bf651b1c5051ea10a7814A few weeks ago I was having a meeting with a business partner of mine. When my skills were challenged and downright nullified to point where I felt somewhat disrespected. This has been an issue that has come up in the past, because in the career path I want to go into majority of my counterparts have vast more experience than myself. Often times, this can become problematic when it comes to respecting ones ideas or the validity of their opinions. This prompted me to ask the question is respect earned or given?.

What is Respect?

In my experience the meaning of respect is to show admiration to someone no matter of disagreements, age, race or gender. This was taught to me at an early age to “to gain respect you must respect yourself and others”. The word respect can be misconstrued at times meaning that any disagreement or differ in opinion is disrespect. In many cases we can have disagreements and follow the old saying “agree to disagree”. Having respect for other people’s opinion can sometimes be difficult to find in today’s society. Where you can find disrespect commentary on the news, social media and in daily forms of social interaction. For example, the presidential candidates for this upcoming election have proven this narrative to be true. They have established this without shadow of a doubt by going back and forth using rude and occasionally crude depictions, words and Television ads to thoroughly disrespect one another.

For What is Not Earned is Not Respected

Many may argue that respect is not given and you have to “work for my respect”. This idea is based on the show me mentality. Often times in today’s society we tend to tune out anyone who differs in opinions, views or morals from ourselves. This narrative has shown to be true in certain situation i.e. the workplace, social debates or disagreements. A news topic that has seen a great deal of news coverage over past week or so is Colin Kaepernick stand for injustice in America. He’s stand or rather sit has been a topic of debate ranging from news outlets, social media and water coolers across the United States. This conservation has some feeling disrespected for sharing their own opinions. This has caused an heavy wave of disrespectful and sometimes misplaced hate to one another.

Final Thought’s

Having respect for someone is not a law, but rather as my mother would say “the right thing to do”. In a time as we are in today where there is more hate and negativity than positivity in the world. Having respect for one another is vital to help change the narrative and spread positivity. We must examine ourselves and ask do we truly want our opinion, views and ideas to be respected even if disagreed upon.

Do you believe respect is earned or given? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9520970

Becoming Truly Selfish

main-qimg-9162664e81363cb40cba067cfeca57e4-cMany people are pursuing self-transformation through self-transcendence. They believe that the self is evil. Religions preach that we’re born with original sin, and culturally, we are told that altruism and self-sacrifice will lead to a more fulfilling, happy, and rewarding life. These illogical beliefs lead to the absurd, but commonly accepted ideas, that self-abnegation will lead to happiness and spiritual fulfillment. The more we sacrifice ourselves, the superior we are morally.

On the other hand, being selfish is considered bad and that people who are selfish are considered greedy, and untrustworthy. In our culture, we associate selfishness who someone who is willing to stab you in the back, and step all over you to get what they want. With that sort of religious and cultural conditioning, it is easy to understand why so many people never achieve happiness, success, wealth, or live the lifestyle they want. As kids, we were taught to think of others before ourselves, but in the adult world, and especially in business, that mentality will inevitably lead to disaster, depression, bankruptcy, and resentment. If we sacrifice our needs and wants to please others, believing that makes us a good person, and that we will be rewarded for it, we only set up ourselves up for resentment and hostility when life isn’t forthcoming.

The reason people are looking to sacrifice their ego is because their ego is weak and fragile. You can’t sacrifice something you don’t have. The ego in a mature and healthy individual is not something to sacrifice, but something to praise, to be proud of, and to value. You can’t have self-esteem, believe you are important and valuable, and want to relinquish your ego. That doesn’t mean you should exaggerate your importance. Acting arrogant is just as insecure as feeling inferior. It means that you realize that life doesn’t owe you anything, and if you want something in life, you have to put yourself first. Politicians, and anyone else in power do it all the time. Politicians act like they are catering to the needs and wants of the people, something altruism praises, but the reality is, they have been caught many times catering to their own needs. Politicians understand that if they don’t look after their own interest, no else will. If we are continuously sacrificing ourselves to others, and catering to what they want, what are they doing, and who is catering to us? Reality doesn’t work that way, and the people who understand this are the richest, smartest, and most powerful people in the world.

Take off the rose-colored glasses and realize that everyone is working for their own agenda and self-interest, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Even charities are selfish, working for their own interest, as well as the interest of many. Being selfish doesn’t mean that you’re evil. In fact, often when we act for our personal gain, the people around us gain as well. People who volunteer their time, or donate their money, do it for selfish reasons. They do it to feel good, and by wanting to feel good, the people around them gain as well. Its win-win and not a win-lose, which is what we are mistakenly led to believe.

In life, you lose when you consistently put other people first. By making the needs and wants of other people more important than your own, you unwittingly affirm that you are not important, and don’t deserve success and happiness. How can you have a sense of personal dignity, and self-respect by continuously acting and behaving in ways that contradict that? Having self-esteem requires you to be selfish most of the time. It means you acknowledge your worth, that your opinion means something, and that your needs and wants are important. Self-sacrifice tells you to deny all those things.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9500335


How do we get from where we are to where we want to be? What is our compass? What do we deem to be valuable? What ideas do we choose to act upon?

To navigate successfully through life, we need a good compass. In 1975 Larry Veatch,”…values provide us with a pattern by which we can behave to gain satisfaction.” Values are the basis by which we make decisions that guide our behaviour. If we behave in a manner consistent with our values, we should be satisfied with our efforts. Our value-guided behaviour should lead to accomplishments that are satisfying.

How do we acquire our values? We construct our values over time, based on what we are taught by others, including our parents and teachers, and what we learn from our experiences. We develop over time an understanding of the world and what is important. What we determine to be important becomes our values, which give us direction and guides us in making decisions. Being efficient in achiev

ing contentment depends on our ability to find resources and make decisions consistent with our values.

Values involve the beliefs of an individual or culture and to some degree each individual comes to possess his own ideas about reality expressed through philosophy, a system of values, and the moral standards which guide his behaviour. What is it that we seek; what will, if achieved, give us satisfaction? Values incorporate things that people want and need such as health, clothing, housing, food, sex, love and intimacy. We obtain a sense of accomplishment through work, skills, play, and spiritual activity; activities through which we seek security.

We sometimes need guidance from others as well as from our values. Life coaching assists clients to define core values and make commitments to do the right thing. The choices we make shape our personality. Fulfilment comes through the matching of our actions to our
Our inner world includes the values that determine our thinking and give us direction. Values guide our choices. The strength of our values determines the degree of our motivation and whether or not we act on our choices. values. Personal effectiveness includes being clear about your fundamental values and making choices consistent with them. Your perception of reality helps determine your level of happiness, sense of peace, and enjoyment. Productivity and relationships develop from your values.

Contentment and a fulfilling life are based on good relationships, job satisfaction, and social skills. Contentment comes from making choices and taki


ng action that is consistent with our values. Success is acting effectively in a manner that is consistent with our values that are compatible with the others with whom we live – family, community, and beyond.

To get from where you are to where you want to be, you need a good compass. Take stock of your values and determine if they give you good direction and if they are compatible with the other people in your life. We are who we are to a large extent because of our relations with others. Your values should be compatible, and positive, and motivating you to take productive action. Your behaviour serves you best if it is purposeful and guiding you along your chosen path to contentment. Your values are your compass that helps you navigate through life toward your destination. Enjoy your journey.



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