Feyisayo

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Acceptance and Change

ChangeHow often do you get to the point of saying… “I am fed up, I have had enough, I don’t want to do this any more?” But, whatever “it” is, say, binge watching TV or gulping down cookies, whatever it is for you… sometimes within five minutes, you tell yourself, “Okay, this is the last time and then I will never, never, never, I mean it, never… ”

Do you want to change? Really want to change? Or are you willing to settle for less than you deserve?

I mean… really, really, really? Why is it so difficult to exercise, to take more time for yourself? Why do you fill your hours with habitual behaviors that just waste time? You know you do this, and yet you are powerless to change.

Are you still “settling”??

For many years I struggled. Struggled to fit in. Struggled to make money. Struggled with various addictions. Even in recovery, I was stuck. Stuck in being “okay” when I wanted “fabulous.” Stuck in a marriage that didn’t fulfill me, or him. Stuck, settling, tolerating, rather than celebrating my life.

Now? Today I look forward with joy and hope to a glorious future. With a man I love, doing what I enjoy, making a positive difference in others’ lives. Healthy and free. Wow!

So, what did I do, and can you do it too? Absolutely.

These ideas are not new. People like you and me have been turning our lives around from overwhelm, even despair, using basic principles that work for everyone… but you do have to “work it.”

I call these principles “The Amethyst Way.” Why? In mythology, it was believed that amethysts protected from drunkenness and promoted clarity of thought. Whether drinking or not, many of our bad habits look like we are just not thinking clearly… i.e. spending money we do not have in the vague (and vain) hope that we will feel better. This is not sane or sober behavior. We are not thinking clearly. We need an Amethyst.

There are other reasons (my hair color for one) that make me a fan of purple gems. I’m not going to waste your time here with the other reasons for “Amethyst.” Later.

Not surprisingly, the acronym I use for the way I reinvented my life and myself is “A GEM” of a simple recipe for health and harmony, passion and purpose.

The “A” stands for acceptance. We’ve all heard, too many times to count, that “the first thing you need to do when you have a problem is admit that the problem exists.” Well, that sounds easy, doesn’t it? For many years before I quit drinking I would say to anyone who was bold enough to question my drinking, “I am an alcoholic, I know that. That’s the way I am.” I was certainly “admitting” my problem, but I was also giving myself permission to continue with a behavior that was killing me. Admitting may be a preliminary step, but does not lead to change, until there is acceptance.

So what is acceptance? Can I cop out here and say, “It’s easier to say what it is not?” No?

More importantly what do I mean when I say… “It is absolutely imperative that you accept where you are, if you want to move forward.” Oh, no! I don’t want to wallow in the discomfort of looking face-on at the things I tolerate or deny.

Don’t wallow. Just look at it. Maybe write it down. Writing things down is a powerful way to remove a lot of the emotion from anything that is bothering you. (For those of you for whom this makes sense… this is step 4.)

This doesn’t mean it’s right or fair. Whatever “it” is. But you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. “What you resist… persists.”

If you have ever struggled with “acceptance” and then had a breakthrough, and saw things exactly the way they were, you will understand acceptance. For me (and it has happened a few times), I felt as if I morphed through a transparent wall that then reformed behind me. On the other side of that wall everything looked exactly the same, but my understanding of it all was profoundly different.

Are you ready to trade in ordinariness for spectacular?

It takes courage to admit that you want big change but, really, what have you got to lose?

If you are one of those people who are saying… “I want different, I want to become the me I am meant to be and live with joy and purpose,” you are ready to explore “The Amethyst Way.”

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